Friday, April 30, 2010
vent.
what if i never went to the doctors to get everything checked? what if i didnt do chemo? what if i didnt do radiation? what if i didnt have to go thru any of this. would the cancer spread? would i be dead? what if..? sometimes i sit in my bed & wonder.. wtf is happenning & wtf am i gonna do when it comes back. if my margins werent negative. if my lung has cancer all in it? and i have to go thru chemo? or sit and die? what? i just started to grow my hair. its a relief. but if i have to do it. i will just die. my whole life will collapse. i want my hair long. i want to not go thru this again. i want to be a regular teenager in school enjoying life instead of hospitals, and doctors, and pain, and no self confident, when can i go out without my hair, ash? when will i just not care. i dont get it.
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Hi Ash, I pray for you, and yes someone is really reading your blog lol. you will get through this, I have been following your blog since your first one. please keep posted. Your friend :-)
ReplyDeleteWell I believe in the power of prayer. Your confession Ash should be along the lines like this if you dont mind me saying. Father in Heaven, I love you and I want to thank you for giving me the life you have. Even though right now its a challenge to me at the moment. I still want to give You praise. I know You LOVE me and You see what I am going through. Father, give me the strength to believe in your Healing Power. I know that cancer is not Your will. I believe in your WORD that says: By your stripes I am HEALED. SO, i hope that helps you.
ReplyDeleteAsh, ask the Lord to come into your heart and touch your mind and ask Him for His love to invade your spirit.
Love you,
Ray